Feeling Blighted?

Did you ever think you could be pregnant with nothing? Well yes, you can. And I am - currently 15 weeks along with a placenta :) I've known since January 18th that my pregnancy was not viable and have been waiting for a natural miscarriage.

For those of you who are confused (like I still am), here are the definitions. Not that they help much...

A blighted ovum (also known as “anembryonic pregnancy”) happens when a fertilized egg attaches itself to the uterine wall, but the embryo does not develop. Cells develop to form the pregnancy sac, but not the embryo itself. A blighted ovum usually occurs within the first trimester before a woman knows she is pregnant. A high level of chromosome abnormalities usually causes a woman’s body to naturally miscarry.

Approximate estimates indicate that 15% of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage. Estimates vary little and approximate blighted ovums account for 45 to 55% of all miscarriages. A blighted ovum is usually the result of chromosomal problems. A woman’s body recognizes abnormal chromosomes in a fetus and naturally does not try to continue the pregnancy because the fetus will not develop into a normal, healthy baby. This can be caused by abnormal cell division, or poor quality sperm or egg.

So, there was never a baby? This is not true. An egg has been fertilized just as in every pregnancy. The baby just does not develop beyond implantation. If you've had a blighted ovum, you were no less pregnant than any other pregnant woman at that same stage and you have every right to mourn the baby that only shared your body for a couple weeks.

There is just so much we do not know about the blighted ovum. Although the blighted ovum is mentioned frequently in medical literature, not many research papers dedicated to understanding the blighted ovum can be found. Generally, a blighted ovum is considered a one-time event and fluke of nature. However, miscarriage is a risk in any pregnancy. Just because you've had one blighted ovum does not mean you will not miscarry again, but your risk is not heightened because of the blighted ovum.

Well, today was finally the day. One of my sisters said, "Yea! I'm so happy for you! but I'm so sad for you too." It was exactly how I feel today. I'm sooo glad it's finally over, but when I think of what I'm losing, it does make me sad. I'm sad that we will not have a new addition to our family. It's so easy to take for granted what a miracle pregnancy, and consequently a child, is. I am extremely lucky to have had 2 miracles - 2 beautiful, healthy, handsome boys.

Today I am grateful for them. I'm grateful for their hugs, kisses, snuggles and smiles, and even their fights, angry eyes and pouty faces. They are mine, and I love every piece of them.